Possibly the most emotional night i've had

Hi everyone,
Sorry I haven't posted in a LONG time! Life has just been crazy busy and it doesn't slow down for anyone. I am so overwhelmed right now with school and home and life and everything. I am behind in school, and never feel perfect anymore and I cannot find a good balance between cancer life and being normal. I am having back spasms most likely due to scar tissue build up, I cannot sleep, I have heart burn, I continue to lose weight, my blood sugars are all over the place and quit frankly CANCER SUCKS. I cannot have a job due to being tired all the time and cant do sports because i bruise too easy and I am tired, my teeth are slowly deteriorating, my kidneys are exhausted, my heart is exhausted I am exhausted. When will life be NORMAL again?? I am just having one of those nights that everything is going wrong. I am physically, emotionally, and mentally tired. Do you think if I had the choice of having and ipad or every special treatment all the backstage passes all of the trips, being skinny and having cancer I would chose that over being health and normal and in sports, in school, having friends, having a job, being able to be out in the sun, being a normal weight, having normal things NO I would much rather be HEALTHY. This is one of the hardest things for me with my siblings. I don't like being sick or losing my hair 3 times or losing weight having tons of doctor appointments missing school. All I want is to be normal like everyone else. I love all the experience I have gotten and I have a totally different life because of what I have gone through. But knowing there is a possibility of losing the fight is TERRIFYING. The emotion part of this is the hardest. Seeing your parents be so worried about you and to see the fear in their eyes is not comforting. All i can say is I would NEVER wish this upon ANYONE. There is my little rant and a little glimpse of what goes on in my head. Please just continue to pray for strength and for the doctors to find a cure!

Love you all

~Cora

Christmas Break

Hi guys!
Sorry it has been so long since my last post! Christmas break has just flown by! I cannot believe we go back to school in 3 days! I have been enjoying time with family and friends and relaxing! This year has flown by. February 9th with mark 1 year since my relapse. It doesn't feel possible! Can it really be a year since the day I was sitting in the doctors office and feeling like I couldn't breathe and my world was caving in around me. 3 weeks ago my doctor suggested that I should stop my chemo infusion I will continue on oral chemo tho. This set of chemo has been very harsh on my kidneys and heart. From the second round of chemo I knew it was hard on my heart. But I have been dealing with kidney problems for probably around 4 months. I have full trust in my doctors and my faith. I am really excited to stop this chemo for 6 weeks and see what happens! I am getting very tired of this continuous treatment. So that is the latest and greatest! But other than that nothing is new. I am very grateful for everyones support! A lot of people never get to experience what I get to experience some bad some good and some amazing!

xoxo

Love you all
Cora